What I’d Do With $929 Million

The world-record-breaking Powerball lottery drawing is to be held tonight and the jackpot is up to $1.5 billion dollars. Even if you take the cash prize– lump sum, up front, all in one fell swoop– you’d still walk away with a cool $929 million dollars burning a whole in your pocket.

Even though the odds are slim that anyone would win, with the chances being 1 in 292,201,338, I’m still more than happy to entertain the thought of winning. Heck, I’d be happy to win $100. A girl can eat a lot of sushi with a hundred bucks.

Not that I don’t have a plan for my near-billion dollar coup. Trust me, I’ve got a plan.

  1. Pay off my student loan debt. Suck on that, accruing interest rates.
  2. Hire a wealth management advisor. This is an obvious first step. I could not be trusted to manage my newfound millions better than someone who does it for a living. Now would be the best time to consider investment properties and strategies, and even bust out some flashcards to take my knowledge of financial abbreviations like ROI to the next level.
  3. Do something really nice for my parents, like send them on a round-the-world cruise. Interior cabin rooms are only $21,000 per person.
  4. Donate a bunch of money to causes close to my heart. I can’t think of a more deserving recipient of millions of dollars over my lifetime than my alma mater, Cottey College. Cottey, filled with it’s wonderful professors and staff, is responsible for shaping me and many other young women into the confident, passionate people we are today. The institution deserves every dollar I would give them and more.
  5. Eat everything tasty in the world. I vacation for two things: food and nature. Food, from the most indulgent gourmet dishes to the humblest of street food on a stick, is the best way to explore a new culture. That leads me to my next point…
  6. Ride the hell out of some amazing trains. I freaking love trains. With a dramatic increase in my vacation budget, you can bet my booty would be traveling cross-country and cross-continent in the loveliest of carriages, sipping the most luxurious of teas, and lounging with my family as we watch the most stunning of landscapes slip by.How lovely of carriages or indulgent of teas? Orient-Express-$12,000-per-person-Paris-to-Istanbul lovely and indulgent. Private parties aboard the Pride of Africa. Long weekends winding among the snowy Swiss alps on the Glacier Express. Enjoying the hot steam of a traditional onsen after a day aboard the Seven Stars.
  7. Do all the fun, expensive stuff at Disney World. And I’ll take everyone with me so we can all get shmammered at Epcot wearing mouse ears and being driven around in golf carts. Food and Wine festival all-access passes, anyone?
  8. Purchase a vacation home in Iceland. Iceland is the most beautiful place on Earth, and I’d love to spend my summers there petting the super-friendly ponies, hiking across glaciers, marveling at the Northern Lights, and eating skyr for breakfast.

I think it’s a pretty good plan– indulgent, but also reasonable. The drawing is set to take place in about an hour, so if you never hear from me again it’s because I’ve become instantly rich and have forgotten about the realities of daily life. If you hear from me again…well, we’re all in this together. Here’s hoping!

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